Monday, January 25, 2010

Passive-aggressiveness is a term used by psychologists to describe a pervasive pattern of negative attitudes coupled with resistance to others. It manifests itself in many ways: procrastination, resentment, stubbornness, and sometimes even deliberate failure to act in a responsible manner. Many times a passive-aggressive person will convey his or her wishes or expectations in a manner that is intended to tweak, embarrass, or shame the intended recipient of the message. By doing so, the passive-aggressive person feels as if he or she maintains a measure of control (and therefore power) over others.

The only way to deal with passive-aggressive people is to lovingly confront them, appealing to them to examine their behavior and make the appropriate changes.

But what do you do if you are a passive-aggressive person?
  1. Admit that it exists and understand the shape it has taken in your life.
  2. Examine your past. Allow the Holy Spirit to guide you to forgive those in your past who have harmed you.
  3. As yourself, "What are my expectations?" Rid yourself of unrealistic expectations since they will only cause you turmoil.
  4. Expose yourself to the mirror of Scripture (James 1:22-25).
  5. Understand your identity in Christ. Your true value lies not in your performance, position, titles, achievements, or power, but in being known by God and declared righteous in Christ.
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